KFC Outlet Closes; Laguna Beach Residents' Health Instantly Improves!

The outlet on Coast Highway, which had been in business since 1967, suddenly closed Wednesday evening after the owner reportedly ran into lease issues.

And, just as quickly, the life expectancy rate of Laguna Beach residents shot up by about eight years.

This, after all, is the fast-food joint that two years ago introduced the vilest item to ever cross a menu board, the Double Down, a sandwich which replaced the bread with two pieces of fried chicken, with cheese, bacon, and god knows what else in the middle of it all.

The taste? Pretty close to what we envision venereal disease tasting like.

Thursday, workers were removing fixtures and furniture out of the building. When prodded by Patch, none of them knew what, if anything, would replace the KFC.

So why don't YOU tell us?

What would you like to see move into the old Kentucky Fried Chicken site?

• An In-N-Out? Obvious choice, but the location is too small, even if you ripped out the Taco Bell next door. And you probably couldn't get a drive-through window, either.
• A Del Taco? Uhhh ... seriously? When we have ?
• A Starbucks? Why not? You never see those anymore!
• A medical marijuana dispensary?
• Hell with that noise—bring back the KFC!
• Something else?

Let us know, and thanks! Now go finish your vegetables ...